Year One in New York

I’ve been in New York for just about a year now.

When I look back, this has been a year defined by risk. I had a chance to be a reporter in Connecticut, but when I looked around the newsroom there, I saw a lot of local reporters in Connecticut. And I didn’t want to be a reporter in Connecticut — no disrespect to them — I just wanted to be something else.

So I took a job in New York working god awful hours, just to get closer to this thing I wanted. What that thing is, I wasn’t sure then and I’m still not now. Maybe writing tv shows, maybe starring in a podcast, maybe writing news articles, or perhaps just writing short internet quips like this one.

This much I still don’t know, but every time I make a choice in search of what that thing is, it fills me with a little more fuel in the tank, and a little more joy. 

I left that job with god awful hours to have a job actually writing my own stories about the world of finance. I knew nothing about it, but I bet on myself. I bet on my ability to talk to people, to understand concepts quickly, and to tell stories well. That much I accomplished. A job at that financial publication? Not so much.

In Robin Williams’ documentary, he has a quote about risk I’ll paraphrase. 

Risking is that thing of trying again. You think you’re great, and someone comes along and says ‘well, you’re not that hot.’ And then you get to try again, in something new.

Taking risks in endeavors that feel true and exciting is what fuels me. To me, not taking those risks feels like the biggest risk of all. You may be missing out on realizing your greatest potential.

I’ve been applying for reporter jobs for the last few months, and all of these interviewers seem to be wanting me to have a little more experience being a reporter in Connecticut.

However, I have a feeling if I was a reporter in Connecticut, I wouldn’t be talking to them in the first place. At the end of the day, who’s right? Them or me?

I don’t know, and I don’t care too much. At the end of the day it’s just me in my home, alone with my thoughts. And when it’s just you in the room with your thoughts, you’ve got to be sure that you’ve followed your gut and trusted yourself. 

To me, I see this 2nd year as another chance to try again. To get it right. To get one step closer to that thing I really want to do. To peel back the curtain on what that life really is.

I know I’m closer now than I was a year ago. It’s easy to paint a year by your failures, and it’s easy for others to paint your year by your successes.

More importantly, this was the year I fell in love. This was the year I got to live in a city with my closest friends. This was the year I took risks, and trusted my gut and chased my dreams.

This was just my first year in New York.